Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
