well you can't waste a boner
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
