i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting