Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?