2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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