Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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(312): Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita. http://tfl.nu/kc15

Replies (6) Good night (2585) Bad night (1073)
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(916): View more from California

I hate ducks.

(916): View more from California

What?

(916): View more from California

they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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(916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm

Replies (55) Good night (3393) Bad night (722)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

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(267): i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE. http://tfl.nu/7rd6

Replies (56) Good night (7170) Bad night (1103)
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(415): View more from California

I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.

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(415): I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home. http://tfl.nu/qs9s

Replies (12) Good night (2887) Bad night (630)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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(215): Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them. http://tfl.nu/quds

Replies (19) Good night (5793) Bad night (738)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

well apparently not.

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(978): saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in? (1-978): well apparently not. http://tfl.nu/kqax

Replies (50) Good night (1345) Bad night (5372)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?

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(720): Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head? http://tfl.nu/r6cb

Replies (20) Good night (8101) Bad night (1976)
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(954): View more from Florida

it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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(954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn

Replies (7) Good night (4269) Bad night (908)
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(915): View more from Texas

I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper

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(915): I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper http://tfl.nu/xgjg

Replies (16) Good night (3870) Bad night (1369)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.

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(732): That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go. http://tfl.nu/exr6

Replies (5) Good night (1477) Bad night (442)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.

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(612): There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/g344

Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (929)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

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(908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1

Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (798)
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(815): View more from Illinois

YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT

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(815): YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT http://tfl.nu/vb37

Replies (10) Good night (544) Bad night (248)
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(630): View more from Illinois

It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help

(630): View more from Illinois

My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help

(630): View more from Illinois

This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can

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(630): It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help (630): My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help (630): This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can http://tfl.nu/n0mf

Replies (2) Good night (498) Bad night (239)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer

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(419): I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer http://tfl.nu/ezfg

Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (165)

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