epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.