Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
