It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
