I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
