i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
