I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
