If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
