Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
do herpes really smell.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
