he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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