I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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