Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I believe in your delicious
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
