So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
