We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she told me i tasted like america
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
