Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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