At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
