we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
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