i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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