there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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