'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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