Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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