I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
