i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
