Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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