Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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