I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
