i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
