U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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