Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have post one night stand depression
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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