my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
