he shaved USA in his pubs
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
