24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
