oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize