What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
