I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
