Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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