Whod you bang
actually, I'm a sock model
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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