i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
