i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
