i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
