What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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