well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
