omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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