I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
