i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
