Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
