Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
where am i from again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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