Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
