There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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