at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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