and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
