So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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