Soap is not a condiment
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
