I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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