I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize