I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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