you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
wow bdsm is so cute
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
