You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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