I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
