is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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