the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
